You Are A Mean Mommy – Therapy Thursday

“You are a Mean Mommy.” Next to “I Hate You”, who doesn’t want to hear that as a mom. My daughter announced this to me recently, after I raised my voice  at her about not doing something. I say raising my voice, and my daughter’s interpretation is that I am yelling. After I “yelled” at her, that is when she whipped out the ” You are a Mean Mommy, every since you started this new job.” Aha, on her interpretation of the mean mommy.

Admittedly, life has been upended by my new work schedule. Because the project I am working on is global in nature, it means I have to interact with colleagues in the UK, India and Australia. So just imagine, the time zone differences to get all three regions on a conference call. So in order for us, New Yorkers to interact with them, all my meetings start at 8 am. Now that doesn’t seem unreasonable an hour but when you factor in commuting time (30-45 minutes depending on how the subway is running), the I have to have a huge cup of coffee when I arrive (5 minutes) and the time it takes to log on and boot up  (15 minutes), that means I have to leave at 7 am.  As if that isn’t bad enough, on average, I don’t leave the office until after 6 pm.

And as any working mom knows, that’s your day job, when you get home, your second job starts plus for me I have  maintained writing for nycsinglemom.com and  decided to become the Editor for another site which is basically like running a start-up. That is one long work week. So you can imagine that my daughter has been getting the short shrift in my time and all of these major changes combined, has made me slightly frustrated that my daughter who is now 8 years old is not helping out as much as she should.

And I don’t mean, hey why don’t you start vacuuming and doing the bathrooms, it’s the little things like putting your shoes in the closet and putting things back. That makes me nuts, that she doesn’t do it and she knows better.

Because, there is so little time in the day and I would like to spend time with her but it’s just annoyingly frustrating that the minute I come through the door, I have to pick up stuff, make dinner, do the dishes, you know the drill. I just would like to enjoy the evening so needless to say, I come through the door and start bitching and moaning about “helping out, picking up after yourself”, … And when I don’t get a response or the “eye roll”, I lose it.

I know that she views the change harshly especially since I don’t do drop off but she knows that no job, no money equals no home, no food, no nothing.

I have tried to at least make some changes so that I am not constantly online or running around like a maniac all night. I have just given up on picking up every little thing or doing the dishes some nights. And I cancelled the morning papers so I can work in the morning while she is still sleeping rather than at night.

So we shall see if these little work habit changes have an impact but most of all, I have really tried to instill a sense of responsibility and ownership in my daughter. That change is a work in progress.

Is there something in your daily routine that you just said, forget it, I rather spend time with my family? Love to hear how others make more time for their families.