Should six year old girls be talking about being dumped? This weekend, we had a birthday party to attend so I offered to take my daughter’s pre-school BFF to the birthday party so they could have an extended playdate. They attend different schools now and I make the effort to ensure they see other as often as possible.
To say that these two girls are alike is an understatement. Both are very verbal, smart and slightly Type A (ok, clearly Type A.) There is no follower thing going on here, it’s all leaders. On top of the Type A personality, I think they are more mature than most 6 1/2 year old girls. When they are together, there is so much whispering and conspiring going on that it’s a little scary and to top it all off, they have this tendency to talk about boys more.
For the most part, I left them alone before the party so who knows what conversations were being had.
As we were walking to the party, my daughter turns to me and says in her whispering, conspiratorial voice “don’t listen, mommy, we have something to discuss.”
I give her the “ok, whatever” look. My only concern at this point is ensuring nothing happens to either of them. It’s not enough to deal with one child but two especially since there in their own little world.
My daughter who I have to admit at the end of the day tells me everything then says ” I have to tell my friend, that I am going to dump R.” R. is boy from their pre-school that my daughter is constantly saying she is going to marry. Like it’s not disturbing enough she has been talking about marrying this boy since she was 5 now she is going to dump him.
I was so taken aback by this comment, I was lucky I wasn’t hit by a car, I was so distracted. “Why do New York City kids insist on doing stuff near or in intersections???” Why can’t we be in a park where I don’t have the chance of getting us killed?
All the way to the party I am thinking, she is 6 years old almost 7. I did not know what to be more upset about the ” I am going to dump R” phrase or the fact that she is even having this conversation with another 6 year old.
That said, I know have to have a conversation about that word.
As an adult — even one w/ no kids — this is terrifying! But I must say that I remember having a boyfriend in kindergarten. We held hands everywhere we went. And we put our mats next to each other during naptime. It was all very innocent. And luckily, no one got dumped! (We just wet to different schools for first grade.) –Nikki Darden
Yes I agree its is so scary and disconcerting.
I think it is sad that young girls are putting so much value on relationships with boys. I think it does damage to their self-esteem and independence. Hopefully we can set good examples for our daughters and let them know that they don’t need these silly boys to be their boyfriends to be happy!!!
wow. I am surprised that such little ones know about “dumping” people. You are a better person than me. I definitely would have gone against my kid’s request & listened in to that conversation – just out of curiosity about what a 6 year old had to say on the subject. Hope your conversation with your daughter went well. If you have any advice about how to approach such a conversation with a kid, I’d love to hear it.