Crank Called by a Second Grader

Teaching your child the basics of where they live, their phone number, what to do if they get lost is standard, right. Well, maybe not. Last summer, my daughter and another girl from camp exchanged phone numbers. I was not even sure my daughter remembered our phone number,  well,  apparently she does. This again is something that I did not think was going to happen for few years well, it has arrived and I don’t like it.

At first, the goofy phone calls were cute  and frankly, hysterical to listen to.

“What are you watching?”

“iCarly”

“i love iCarly, Sam and Spencer are sooo funny.”

Then there is screaming and laughing, more screaming, more laughing….

I wish I had taped some of those nonsensical calls although after awhile you tune it out because the screaming and the insanity of it gets to be too much. You want to get information out of terrorists, have them listen to two 7 year olds talking about their dolls.

There was a two week gap after camp ended in which the phone calls continued which I did not mind but when school started, we have a rule, no television, computers, games and now, no phone calls.

Unfortunately, the girl’s mom did not get the memo or has no rules, who knows.

During the first week of school, the little girl called every day which, of course, turned into an argument with my daughter over the rules.  I finally had to write the girl’s mom an email to tell her to stop. Now I could have called her instead of sending an impersonal email but talking to the woman on the phone is not my idea of fun in the best of circumstances. She is one of those women who constantly complains about everything and hey, we all have our moments but all the time and with someone you don’t know very well. You know the type, one minute you are talking about your kids and the next thing you know you have to hear about what an ass their husband is. And trust me,I have no interest in her life. Keep your crazy to yourself, lady.

After the email, the mom was apologetic and had no idea her daughter was calling during the week.

“She must be taking my cell phone out of my bag.”

In my head, I am thinking, “What the Fuck, lady, you live in two-bedroom apartment, you can’t hear your daughter on the phone, cackling away and talking nonsense with another child.”

But, I just agreed with her and got off the phone as quickly as possible.

End of story, right, wrong.

Over the next few months, my daughter would receive messages from the little girl, after school, the weekends. This kid was relentless. Okay, I admit, I deleted them. I know it’s wrong but I, seriously did not want to deal with the mother. The idea of setting up playdates and talking to her for even 5 minutes just seemed like it would be torture. I have too many other moms, I like better and  their daughter’s are a better fit with mine.

So one day, I received a phone call while my daughter was at Karate class. No one responded when I asked who is this? But I could hear breathing, not THAT  kind of breathing but it was obvious,  it was a little girl.

She did this at least two more times over the course of an hour.

On the third call, I snapped.

“Madison is that you? Please don’t call during the school week” I know it’s you.”

There was no response.

The calls stopped for awhile but every so often, I will check the voice mail and there it is again,  the breathing and giggling.

Let’s hope and pray they don’t go to the same middle school because I am going to have to come up with a nefarious plan to keep them apart.