Can I Meet My Birth Mother?
“I will always love you, mommy!” my daughter proclaimed after asking if she could meet her “birth mother ” as we prepared for our Philadelphia trip. Now I went through this angst two years ago when we went to Philadelphia to celebrate the twentieth anniversary of the adoption agency I used to adopt my daughter so you would think I would be prepared. Wrong!
But hearing those words for the first time a couple of years go, brought a sense of fear into my heart. “Will she still love me after she meets her birth mother? How long has she been thinking about her? “Why and Why now??” As my daughter was only seven at the time, it was only that we were visiting Philadelphia that prompted her to ask.
Now here we are two years later and as my stomach churned while trying to stay calm enough to ask her “Are you asking to meet her because we are going to Philadelphia and why do you want to meet her?
She responded with a nonchalant “Yes, and I don’t know.”
At that point, I could not help myself and got a little teary eyed. My daughter, who is one feisty kid, is also pretty sensitive, “Are you crying because you think I am going to love her and not you?”
I could only shake my head.
She started to cry to and hugged me really tight , “Don’t worry, I don’t even know her. How can I love someone who never raised me? I will always love you, mommy!”
Alls well that’s end well, for now. All I know is we are never going to back to Philadelphia again (just kidding!)
She knows exactly who her mommy is and there is no doubt in that. {{{HUGS}}}
Love your kind words
Reading this made me teary eyed! Thanks for sharing your personal story. Your daughter will always love you!
…wow. Amazing how one short post can say so much and be so powerful. I stumbled across your site (via BloggerPR) and I’m so glad I did. Your daughter is beautiful, lucky, and EXTRAORDINARILY insightful. Adoption is the most incredible gift you can give a child and one of the greatest impacts you can have on the world. Sorry for the rambling comment, but I am inspired…
Wow, what a beautiful bond you two have. Thanks for sharing.
My daughter’s birthmother did her nails last Friday, she’s in beauty school and asked if I wanted to come down for a mani/pedi with K and we went to dinner afterwards. K loves her, like she loves her aunts and cousins and friends. She colors pictures for her when I ask her to, and she knows the Pooh Bear that she sleeps with every night is from her. She’s special to her, but I’m her Mommy and that won’t ever change. Granted my daughter is 2 1/2 and she doesn’t really understand, but I hope it’ll make things easier for her later. When she has questions later I can text her birthmom anytime, if medical concerns arise I’ll know about them. We would visit with her birthgrandmother independently of her birthmom a few times and she loved her… nothing wrong with having more people who love her. She has since passed away of lung cancer, that will be helpful for K to know when she’s older. Plus we were at the funeral with K. I hope it helps her later… but we’re lucky. Her birthmother is amazing and very sweet and we’ve become friends. If you ever decide to meet her birthmother, I hope you are as lucky as we are!
I’m stopping by from the Bloggy Moms November blog hop. I just had to visit your blog after I saw you are also a single mom, and then I read some of your stories and think you are a very inspiring person. I admire that you chose to become a single parent by way of adoption, and that you brought this very special little person into your life as your own.
My blog is singlemommyblog.com. After taking a few months off, I am now back in business and doing what I love. 🙂